Blackbirdan online journal of literature and the artsSpring 2015  v14n1
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Panama City

I don’t know how we’ve managed to pull this one off but our married women are shrews and our divorcées knockouts, if that makes any sense. In all honesty consider a prenup. It’s gotten to be such a problem we’ve outlawed long aisles. Buyer’s remorse can creep up on you, and every inch counts. Inches have commonly come up in divorce proceedings. After so many photographs, you realize all evidence is strange. I saw a woman in a bikini top with impossibly bright knees. I know we all have knees but these were really kick-ass. We both looked at each other and shrugged. How else could we respond to such impossible attraction? Oh God, and then there’s Martha. When she left Larry, it was as if every shingle fell from the roof. It was as if I had written her into my own beautiful novel and she was playing every bit the part. You know the part. Not the hero. Not the hero’s wife. Something a bit edgier like the woman in panty hose I defended when I was a lawyer. But I was never a lawyer! I mean, please. I have morals.  end  

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