Blackbirdan online journal of literature and the artsSpring 2019  Vol. 18 No. 1
poetryfictionnonfictiongalleryfeaturesbrowse
 print preview
back BRIDGET GRACE SHEAFF

Exit Interview

CHARACTERS:

NICOLE: Sharp, witty, very intelligent. Determined. Energetic. Very perceptive. Compassionate.

BRANDON: Clever. Wants to be the nice guy. Terrified of the idea that people might not like him. Hardworking. Would give you the shirt off his back.

 

 

 



NOTE:

 

 

Both of these people are trying to make this an amicable parting. It’s early in the breakup and real feelings are on the line, but both Nicole and Brandon want to walk away with as much dignity as possible. The things that are funny in the beginning should be allowed to be funny. The last thing this needs is an air of defeat and defensiveness. Positive stakes. They still want what is best for the other person as well.

 

 



(At rise, NICOLE, business attire, sits at a conference room table, binder and pen in hand. She reads over her documents, glancing up at the door and the clock every now and then. BRANDON enters, wearing a suit and carrying a box of desk contents. He sets it down on a chair and reaches to shake NICOLE’s hand.)

NICOLE (shaking his hand)
Thank you for coming in today, Brandon. I know you are busy.

BRANDON
It’s no trouble at all.

NICOLE
I wanted to ask you a few questions today about your decision. I thought it was important that we take some time, learn the reasons for your departure. We are disappointed to be losing you.

BRANDON
Yes, it wasn’t an easy decision. But I think it’s time I move on.

NICOLE
Sure. I hope you will be open and honest in this time, that you feel you can give complete answers.

BRANDON
Of course.

NICOLE
We’re really looking to use the criticism and feedback here to drive some organizational improvements. Make some changes for the future. This process could be a learning experience for both of us, don’t you think?

BRANDON
Agreed.

NICOLE
Well . . . let’s dive right into it. So you’ve been here, what, nine months?

BRANDON
Almost ten.

NICOLE
Ah. I suppose that depends on when you start counting from.

BRANDON
Sure.

NICOLE (taking notes)
So. What caused you to start looking for something new at this time?

BRANDON
Like I said, I think I knew it was time to move on.

NICOLE
Of course . . . do you care to expand on that?

BRANDON
Well, I think I looked at my life and my goals and I really asked myself where I wanted to be in five years, what kind of future I wanted, and it wasn’t . . . here, y’know? I valued this position, and I feel I learned a lot. I will always look fondly on my time here. It’s time for, like you said, something new.

NICOLE
You want something different.

BRANDON
Exactly.

(NICOLE begins to write something down.)

No, wait, no that’s not it. This, um, this isn’t a good fit anymore, y’know?

NICOLE
I see.

BRANDON
I don’t know if I’m saying the right thing.

NICOLE
All you have to do is be honest. That’s all.

BRANDON
Yes, of course.

NICOLE
That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.

BRANDON
I know that.

NICOLE (the facade cracking)
Don’t just tell me what you think I want to hear. You can’t be the nice guy all the time. You aren’t the hero.

BRANDON
I wasn’t . . . yeah, sure. Okay.

NICOLE (recovering cheerfully)
So. What did you dislike about the company?

BRANDON
So, suddenly, I don’t like where this is going.

NICOLE
Honesty is important so we can improve our performance.

BRANDON
This doesn’t sound like honesty, this sounds like masochism.

NICOLE (almost laughing)
Will you answer the question?

BRANDON
Mostly, it was great.

NICOLE
Yes. You mentioned that. Right now I’m trying to mine a little deeper, find out where we could have done better by you. Maybe get a sense of what you want, what you are looking for.

BRANDON
Well . . . there were times I didn’t feel valued. Sometimes. I felt taken for granted.

NICOLE (this is a surprise)
Taken for granted?

BRANDON
You know, I felt like I sometimes wasn’t part of major decisions. And there were times when I felt . . . like, stupid.

NICOLE
Like when?

BRANDON
When I would get things wrong or disagree with you or try to make choices or jokes or even when I would try new things, shake things up a bit, y’know? Or sometimes—

NICOLE
That sounds like you felt stupid a lot.

BRANDON
Well.

NICOLE
Well, no one can make you feel stupid.

BRANDON
See, right there. It was stuff like that. When the responsibility for my problems was solely on me. If I was the one having the problem, then I was being overly sensitive or not taking initiative and it was never anyone else’s fault. It made me feel . . . It was like my feelings and thoughts didn’t matter to you.

NICOLE
Wow.

BRANDON
You asked me to be honest.

NICOLE
Did you share your concerns with anyone prior to deciding to leave?

(Pause.)

BRANDON
No, I didn’t talk to you, but—

NICOLE (calm yet sarcastic)
Oh, interesting. I was about to say I don’t remember hearing about this before. But, now, you want to talk?

BRANDON
I always wanted to talk, that wasn’t—

NICOLE
If you didn’t bring these problems to our attention, how could you have expected us to fix them?

BRANDON
That’s what I’m saying. If I had talked to you about them, you wouldn’t have really acknowledged them. It would have ended up being my fault.

NICOLE
How do you know that for sure?

BRANDON
I guess I don’t.

NICOLE
And without being aware of it—

BRANDON
Look, I’m not saying I did the right thing by not talking to you about it. I’m saying that there was a reason and a logic to it at the time and when the reason no longer outweighed the problem, then I knew it was time to move on.

NICOLE
Did you share your concerns with anyone outside the company prior to deciding to leave?

BRANDON
I don’t want to answer that.

NICOLE
So you did.

BRANDON
I really don’t—

NICOLE
Did you talk to Stacy?

BRANDON
I was looking for advice!

NICOLE
Who else? Charlie? Michael? Winston Churchill? Who knows all of this?

BRANDON
I didn’t—

NICOLE
How many people did you talk to about this without talking to me?

BRANDON
A few, okay, but it’s not the way you’re making it out.

NICOLE
And probably your mother, right?

BRANDON
Well . . .

NICOLE (laughing sardonically)
Of course.

BRANDON
What does that mean?

NICOLE
You know what it means.

BRANDON
Look, it wasn’t like I went around sharing private details about my time here. I wasn’t telling secrets. I needed . . . I was looking for help.

NICOLE
No, you were looking for confirmation that you were right. You were looking for people to be on your side.

BRANDON
Doesn’t everyone?

NICOLE
How could I have been on your side if you didn’t talk to me?

(Pause.)

BRANDON
I don’t know.

(Pause.)

NICOLE
I think we have gotten slightly off track.

BRANDON
I agree.

NICOLE
What does your new company offer that encouraged you to leave this position?

BRANDON
New company?

NICOLE
I assume you already have a new position. How long have you known you were moving on? And what is the name of your new company?

BRANDON
There’s no new company.

NICOLE
Have you worked with them before? Am I familiar with them? And are they prettier than me?

BRANDON
There isn’t anyone else.

NICOLE
I have trouble believing that.

BRANDON
It’s not like that.

NICOLE
Then what is it like?

BRANDON
Nicole, I don’t know what this is helping.

NICOLE
Was there a single event responsible for your decision to leave?

BRANDON
I don’t think that’s relevant.

NICOLE
Based on that response, I think it might be.

BRANDON
No, it wasn’t one thing.

NICOLE
Are you sure?

BRANDON
Why would I lie about this?

NICOLE
There wasn’t one conflict? Or one task? One request that might have pushed you over the line? What happened? What went wrong? Is there a way to fix it?

BRANDON
This whole line of questioning is meaningless.

NICOLE
Why have you decided to leave the company?

BRANDON
I already answered this.

NICOLE
Why have you decided to leave?

BRANDON
I told you!

NICOLE
I don’t like that answer, try again.

BRANDON
Nicole, stop it.

NICOLE
Tell me why, Brandon.

BRANDON
I can’t.

NICOLE
Yes. It’s easy. Think words. Open mouth. Say them.

BRANDON
No . . . Not, “I can’t tell you.” I . . . I can’t anymore, okay?

(Pause.)

NICOLE
I have a few more questions.

BRANDON
So do I.

NICOLE
That’s not how this works.

BRANDON
Oh really? I think it’s my turn to ask the questions.

(BRANDON grabs the binder from NICOLE and starts reading the questions aloud.)

BRANDON
“Number 16: Do you feel you had the resources and support necessary to be successful? If not, what was missing?”

NICOLE (reaching for the binder)
Brandon, give it back.

BRANDON (plowing through)
“Number 17: Did you have clear goals and know what was expected of you in your position?”

NICOLE (still fighting)
Knock it off. This isn’t how this goes.

BRANDON (speaking over her)
“Number 22: What are the key qualities and skills we should seek in your replacement?!” Are you kidding me?!

NICOLE
I am the one asking the questions!

BRANDON
No, right now, it would appear I am the one asking the questions.

NICOLE
That’s not fair.

BRANDON
Why?

NICOLE: Because I’m not the one who wants to leave!

(Silence. BRANDON hands the binder back to her and sits again.)

NICOLE
If there had been opportunity for promotion or advancement, would you have stayed?

BRANDON
Nicole . . .

NICOLE
Answer the question.

BRANDON
That wasn’t how this was going to work. You never . . . it was clear from the beginning that I wasn’t going to move up here. It took me a while to see that and to accept it, and once I did I knew that it was time to move on.

NICOLE
So for nine months . . .

BRANDON
Ten. Ten months. Depending on where you start counting. And no. Of course not. Not the whole time.

NICOLE
So what you are saying is that if I . . . if we had changed our minds . . .

BRANDON
If, if, if. Who knows?

NICOLE
Right.

BRANDON
But you didn’t want that anyway.

NICOLE
You’re probably right.

(So much is unsaid in the silence that follows.)

NICOLE
What did you value about your time here?

BRANDON
Lots of things.

NICOLE
Be specific.

BRANDON
Um, I always felt like I was cared for.

NICOLE
I thought you felt stupid.

BRANDON
I did. Sometimes. But it wasn’t like it happened on purpose. And I still knew that you . . . I always liked when you would smile at me without saying anything and how you laughed at all my jokes, especially when they were stupid.

NICOLE
Hm.

BRANDON
I liked going on adventures. And learning new things. And being challenged. You were always challenging and exciting.

NICOLE
Yeah.

BRANDON
I valued your insight. Your passion. You were clever, charming. You stuck by your convictions.

NICOLE
A lot of past tense in that sentence.

BRANDON
You still are. And I still like it. I need to put it in past tense.

NICOLE
Yeah.

BRANDON
What did you value?

NICOLE
No.

BRANDON
Nicole . . . come on.

NICOLE
You . . . made me feel safe. And wanted. And smart. Not smarter than you or anything. I felt listened to. I liked that you listened to me.

BRANDON:
Me too.

NICOLE:
What would make you consider working for us again in the future?

(Silence.)

NICOLE
You know what, forget I asked.

BRANDON
Yeah.

NICOLE
Would you . . . recommend this to another person?

BRANDON
In a heartbeat.

NICOLE
Alright. I think that’s all my questions.

BRANDON
No, it’s not.

(Silence.)

BRANDON
I saw the list, Nicole. Go ahead. Ask.

NICOLE
I’m afraid of the answer.

BRANDON
I know.

NICOLE
If you already know, can’t you tell me?

BRANDON
I think the answer might be less important than the question.

NICOLE
I haven’t gotten any real answers this whole time.

BRANDON
Because you haven’t been asking what you want to know. I can only answer what you ask me.

(Pause.)

BRANDON
Please ask.

NICOLE
Was it ever real?

BRANDON
Try again.

NICOLE (summoning strength)
Did you ever really love me?

BRANDON
Of course I did. Do. That’s not what this is about.

NICOLE
How is it not about that?

BRANDON
Because I’m not the hero, Nicole. I can’t just be the nice guy.

NICOLE
Right. Sure.

BRANDON
So. It’s over.

NICOLE (a moment of pure desperation)
Help me understand why.

BRANDON
It’s what needs to happen.

NICOLE
I don’t get it.

BRANDON
Me neither. But these questions aren’t going to make it any less hard.

NICOLE
I know.

BRANDON
You will be fine without me.

NICOLE
That is one hundred percent not the point.

BRANDON
Yeah.

(BRANDON stands to leave, sliding the box towards NICOLE.)

BRANDON
I think it’s all in there.

NICOLE
Thanks.

(BRANDON looks at NICOLE intensely for one moment. She doesn’t look at him. He leans over to kiss her on the forehead and she pulls away. BRANDON retreats and exits. NICOLE sits, ruined but determined.)

END SCENE  


return to top