MELISSA KOOSMANN

Overheard

The penis is in the wrong
place.
Ha, a colossal screw-up.
Think about that, I said
to the woman handing out
pamphlets (on How to be
a Christian
) in front
of my favorite bar. I tried
to give my pamphlet to the bouncer
as ID, but he told me to throw it
away. I had to show him
                    the real thing.