Blackbirdan online journal of literature and the artsSpring 2015  v14n1
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back REBECCA BLACK

Coda

I was a little bit pregnant
& every night

the womb grew
more primitive

& refined.
A small cadre

of carpenters
set up shop,

affixing
the child’s limbs

with metal hinges
and tacks.

~

I had
my wooden

artifacts,
the books

on ritual
practice

and divination.
But one

tires of ambition—
one’s own,

especially the ambition
of others.

~

There was no end
to all this trying

to conceive
a harbor

outside
my childhood

nightmares—
the bedroom

flooding
faster and faster,

bedstead flush
against

the ceiling.
Even so, I boxed

the angel,
shattered his glass

jaw & didn’t he
bless me.

~

Then the world
rose

from its stupor—
my stupor—

like a light
triggered

by coins
in a metal box

under a painting
in an Italian church.

The body
darkened

by candle,
arms and legs

tangled in soot,
assumptions

and uprisings.
The singing rooms

set above
the crypts.

~

Before this,
days still

as the wordless boy
you slept

next to every
night.

Not loving him
but staying.

Loving him
but waiting.

Another
two

hundred
cans of soup.

~

Morning.
Years later.

The beloved
makes coffee.

How useless to try
and name

this feeling
of relief.

But at least
you know

the difference
between what

is over
and what

it is
you’ve finished.  end  


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